Our Kerala...

A 100% illiterately literate desi land where all its netziens with a keyBORED and internet connection are boastful about themselves in Orkut, a site where Google employees are paid to generate content of jerk nature for the jobless mallu-public. People of Kerala speak a popular phonetically pleasing sign langauge called Malayalam, so they are referred as Mallus. When Mallus wake up in the morning, their primary ritual is to update their Orkut profile and upload the latest buttogenic fotos in their colorful lungis and sarees, taken in a phooriegn (abroad) land. The next step is to self-glorify them by using Orkut publicity scraps or Facebook walls. Lungi, Saree and 24 carat jewellery export via checked-in luggage has trippled ever since its intelligent workers started immigrating all around the world for doing business right from space down to the underworld. This makes the state of Kerala lying in the southern most Psunami-proof looking coastal part of India, the no:1 foreign currency earner and spender. There is a private engineering college at every town right now and govt has pledge to expand it to every village. Per-capitation, donation & admission to these colleges are offered for those walk in from the CITU & INTUC waiting sheds. People of kerala purchases 10kg of gold every 5 minutes.

Talk english to everyone. Need not be meaningful, but need to be english. A mix words like yeah, ok, hello, missed call, recharge, shit! etc. will do. Pretend to know hindi, don't speak that. Speak Malayalam only when you are dying or starving or cursing. Ok, here's a tip: Never talk malayalam in schools. You'll find yourself being fined or even worse bald-headed in a few while! Beware...


Spoken Manglish(A hybrid of Malayalam and English) is the benchmark for speaking english in India and most teachers and professors of English in schools and colleges across the country are Malayali. One Malayali, Arundhati Roy, broke all records with her bombastic English by winning the Booker prize: awarded each year by the Queens of English in Britain. After winning the Booker with her novel, Got a Small Thong, she's shifted her focus to destroying the Narmada Dam with her similar bombastic rhetoric. Loyola Kutty is one of the finest teachers of English Kerala has to offer, to young students of Jam University in New Delhi. Her particular tutorial is titled, Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. !

The one and only Suresh 'just remember that' Gopi is widely acclaimed as the father of English in Kerala. His movies have a liberal dose of english in his dialogues (and titles) which makes the average mallu think he is from Hollywood! He is credited with the introduction of 'shit' to Manglish.The kerala state has also established a tullu academy for their cousin tullu brethren in kasargod to woos tullus in neighbouring mangalore-udupi to unite with kerala and rename it as Para shoo ram Shitra in honour of the founder of ancient kokonut land of kerala

Elephant running, Bull running, dog running, Cat running, Lion-tailed monkey running (Now-a-days the only one left on earth is always the champ)... Cricket (Only one person in the entire state plays it, that too because he was unable to find a job as a break dancer), Long Jump (One person plays that) Soccer (Nobody plays that) Street Fight (Everybody plays that)

Of late, the passion for Keralites is taking part in Hartal. This all started with the Supreme court banning bandhs. The ever-intelligent Malayalees could easily convert this threat to an opportunity by re-christening "Bandh" as "Hartal"

Though not detailed in the media Kerala's favourite game is 'Thappal', literally translated it means 'to search'. This game is usually played by the youth as well as Grandpas of Kerala at cinemas and local buses, the objective is to touch as many female body parts ( age doesn't matter ) in a very short period of time. If however there is a tie in the score between two or more players then the away bus rule applies the person whose done it in the bus which is not his regular haunt. Well, ministers as they are elected play this in flights or in Ice cream parlours. How can you expect them to travel in bus? Women who do not like to be played with, carry safety pins to ward off the players.

Kerala government has announced to constitute a Kerala Hartal Academy For a change, this academy will not be based at Trichur, but in Kannur.

Harthal is the national festival of kerala.They celebrate Harthal in any season any day any time. The state beverages corporation provides 750 ml of alcohol per person per hartal, which is a constitutional right. People gather in their house,watch television,eat and sleep on harthal days. The festival concludes with a massive puking competition held at the "Thrissur round", apparently the largest round-about in the whole universe.

published from uncyclopedia.

KESA Generalized

NOTE: This post is send to Spartans(mnitkesa@gmail.com). Hopefully they will post it. If they do, u ppl can also try sending some of ur thoughts to Spartans!!!

Chapter 1: Lucky No 4

Yea... 4 years of engineering...full of fun and frolic...but again y lucky 4...interestingly u ppl got the Arsenals lucky no 4 for 4 years and ppl say.. his way of defensive attack added the value to Spartans.. HO HO Sprata!!!

1.1) The first year:

The first day:

It was 90 RS from Airport to MNIT Gate and Achan gave a 10 more to enter the Gate. First impression was a bad impression, really wanting to go back home and join CET.Airfare till jaipur and my decision at home to join MNIT made me keep quiet. On our way I saw a small building towards the right side written "Design Centre”. It’s been four years and I still don’t know y its named so.'Rokho Bhaiya', Achan said. I took the 25 kg bag and tried keeping it in achans shoulder but u know achan know more tricks dan me. He made me carry the bag from "design centre" to hostel [:(].

Inside the "Design Centre" it smelled chomish."Muje kya patha" was d song I heard from every chom coordinator including Mishra ji(RSS).We got frustrated with their behaviour.It took us 4hrs to finish off the registration.I got the room allotted (3/87).Traveling 1 km, we reached hostel 3 and saw my room. I was satisfied, I kept ma bag dere and started roaming around the hostel to meet others. The first guy I met on the rainy day was 'Bhavaneet'.Had a casual talk giving no respect for the don of the college.i really dint know about ragging and stuffs.

Sweeper was cleaning ma room. In between he asked, "Bhaiya aap kahan se ho?”. I had no other choice other dan to reveal that I am a mallu [:P] yea a true mallu. The moment he heard the word MALLU, he started thinking. A few seconds passed and the man shouted “thumara pass walla be MALLU hai”. WTF??..Another Mallu dared to enter chomland. I rushed to the near by room ..surprised to watch the star ..a pure Mallu by luks…Mr. Vineeth Chandra!!!..........



[To Be Continued…]

stRIPPER shaji

So finally our dearest Ripper Shaji will be off to Germany tonight.Germany is historically called Das Land der Dichter und Denker (the land of poets and thinkers).Shaji is a thinker for sure ,but poetry?? His much gossiped about girlfriend is one & its time for The Ripper to pick up a few tricks of the trade from Deutschland.As they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.

While we are not too sure about what the Romans do ,Moya Koya confirms the fact that Strip clubs form an integral part of a normal life in Germany.Koya also claims that he visited one! The Spartans can only pity the plight of other club dwellers on that eventful day who must have committed some cardinal sin in their lives to deserve the torture of watching Koya's ‘public ’ (farewell) secret. The Ripper has promised The Spartans to follow Koya’s footsteps & step into the same strip club(after all, the sinners have to be punished & God almighty has his ways of punishing Germans).The Spartans only hope that in between all the drama – ‘Dude,don’t forget switch off the flash & sound’.For those who are already licking their lips, we would like to reiterate the fact that “Our Experiments with Truth” has been registered as a blog with non-adult content & no pics whatsoever will be on display.For those who are still licking their lips you can go to 3/37 or 3/43(wherever they are next year).

Btw we should all pray for The Ripper so that he wouldn’t be forced to come out of the club with his bat in his own hands.

Also The Spartans would use this space the convey all our best wishes & also hope that you are going to have a happy & safe sojourn in Germany. You have earned your trip & hence have a blast. Waiting for the day you will come back to tell us the tale & the rest of the desi’s can read it in this space.

Where there is a girl there is a way

Once Praveen told us "pattiyude vaalu pantheerandu kollam kuzhalil ittalum athu nereyavilla".



Two years since we know he was right.Certain guys dun change.They just do it.

......more to follow......

PS:Blackman will be spared in this space for some time for being the 1st man from Africa to post a comment in this blog.Any Indian's reading??

Boy !!! It was mesmerizing

It's all over . The final official get together of KESA with the 09 batch is history. The placement treat of the outgoing batch will go down in the annals of KESA for its sheer quality, for its CLASS & for its unprecedented extravagance. And rightly so – for the kind of placements the batch has earned.

The lunch party hosted at BARBEQUE NATION on the 5^th of April 2009 will go down as a bench mark for the batches to come, for it's not always that the placement party would draw favourable comparisons with the Farewell party which was organized at none lesser than 'The Holiday Inn'.

Along with Onam, Freshers & Farewell the placement treat became a customary KESA event from 2006-07(Thoma's batch). From the first placement treat at Sodala with a cap of Rs 50/- per head to the delayed treat of Praveen's batch at Royal Huts the graph has only gone steeper this time. It will get the shit out of the future batches to match this treat, forget bettering.

If one had to pick a flaw, it has to be the fact that the venue lacked the ambience for a good interaction. But then that is quite a below average criticism.

The final yearites though, were a little disappointed with the fact that they dint get the response they deserved. Certain Homo sapiens were quite content in opening their mouth to eat the food alone which was disappointing.

Yours truly doesn't intend to point fingers & play the blame game. But then it was amusing to find that a certain Ms X who asked – "Why should the fairer sex contribute money for the farewell?" dint find anything wrong when the tables were turned to find 'Her Highness' at the receiving end of the treat. The theory that "Girls can receive the fresher's (read as - treat)& don't have to contribute to the Farewell " is an enigma to The Spartans.

But then with all humility we accept the fact that – "Ours is not the final word".

You can debate it out in the comments column .

PS : Anonymous comments are allowed. Never hesitate to type down your piece of mind.

Mandanmar Football Courtil

The Intra college 6 a side football tournament Joga Bonito has commenced.As usual we mallus are preparing to make their presence felt in the football field.The fact that 7 mallus were an integral part of the top 3 teams in the previous(inaugral) edition speaks volumes for our football culture.Mallus are slowly but surely giving the chinkies a run for their money.

The Spartans are just an hour away from starting their campaign this year.Lead by the maverick captain Roshan, the Spartans who were the runners up in the previous edition are all set to go one step further.The Spartans who will be rendering the services of Roshan(c),Prasanth,Navaneeth,Deepak & Alex boast of a strong mallu flavour and are sure to garner the support of the KESA army.

The RUYA lead by the lengendary fart-man Erangupurathu Mohankumar Sajeev & the would be legend fart-boy Edwin Lonappan who were the semi finalists in the previous edition are surely one of the front runners for the title mainly due to the presence of the other 6 team members(not to forget their farting skills by which they manage to scare the opposition).

Barbarians lead by Sreejith comprising of Moya Koya Abdu & Jithin Sakshi will be hoping for a miracle to get through to the next round.Same will be the case with Hari's Sleeping Forest who will flex their muscles with Spartans in the league phase.Lalith who will turn out for Multiple Scoregasms(well full marks for the name) will strive to do justice to their name , but qualifying for the second round is not out of their reach since they had the rub of the green in the draws.

We will update you with progress of each team in this space .

Watch out.

PS - Common guys convey your support in the comments column

Meet The Spartans

We ve been waiting for long.

For what?

For the 1st of April to arrive.Our only official holiday.This is the only day when we consciously take a break from our strenuous job to which we are most committed.But then, when the day arrived we were caught totally unawarezzzzzzzzzzzzz.So we beg your pardon to introduce you to this blog in the final hours of April 1.

As usual no formalities in this intro post either.Probably we are not the most articulate among the KESAyites to write a beautiful 1st post.

But then somebody said "To forgive - is DIVINE"

This is a place to give a vent to your frustrations,thoughts,experiences & most importantly - this is the place to pull your friend's ???? legs.

Common its not all non-sense.The guys who are working can pen down their thoughts on corporate life & what to expect once we are thrown out of this college(plz post it b4 u r thrown out of yo company).

We acknowledge the fact that some of you can write even worse.So those of you who have enough time to waste can send a request to be a co author to mnitkesa@gmail.com. If you dont have the dick to write it all by yourself you can send snippets to the same address.Rest assured we wil be a pain in their ass. Though Freedom of expression is encouraged , disgusting posts will be deleted.

Hoping for the worst

The Spartans

PS - You can be a co author without revealing your identity.For queries - mnitkesa@gmail.com .

PPS - Never mind subscribing (by clicking the SUBSCRIBE button at the bottom left) so that you are updated about new posts in your mailbox.